I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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