There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Can I color on your dick again?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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