i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
