I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
