summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
