I love black thongs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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