problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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