Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
