make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
