You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
