Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
