We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
