Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize