how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
