it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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