end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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