I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
