end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
