CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
