Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
