It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
