i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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