I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize