dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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