Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
