She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
