that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize