As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
