Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
