I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
