omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So many bounce houses so little time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
