In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
