hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
