question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
