I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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