He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is my gift to your gina
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
