I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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