don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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