When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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