I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
