dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
