I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
