It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize