You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
