currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
