Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
