i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Say something about gay babies.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
