My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize