I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
