Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
