I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
