Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
