She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
