she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I am morally bankrupt
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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