ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
