out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
