that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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