No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
