we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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