So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
