just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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