One girl and one boy is just not enough.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
