a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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