You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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