dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
