Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
