I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
