The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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