I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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